Caffeine Crazy
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: Stafy and Pichu decide to mix tea and coffee together to spark some interest in their meaninglessly yellow lives at the Smash Mansion. Let's just say that some things are not meant to be mixed with each other.
1. Chapter 1

It was your typical batshit insane night at the Super Smash Brothers Mansion as it was nighttime in F-ZERO's Big Blue stage from Melee, with the Smash Mansion being right in the middle of the blue ocean that was surrounded by the F-ZERO race course, with an F-ZERO race and a Brawl match occurring.

But it was inside the mansion that counted, not so much the outside. And on that note...

"Tea! I got tea!" Stafy, Starfy, or whatever the hell the yellow star's name was, exclaimed happily as he had a cup of tea in his stubby right hand, with it having a hint of coffee in it.

"Yeah, well I got coffee and I'm not afraid to drink it!" Pichu gleefully exclaimed as she had a cup of hot steamy coffee in her paws, it having a little bit of tea combined as she tilted her head to the right.

So both of the cute, yellow colored creatures, of which one was a shitty Assist Trophy and the other a shitty, formerly playable Smasher, drank their cups of tea and coffee. That they mixed in with each other at the same time.

Why? Because they're idiots.

"I'm so fucking hyper, man!" Stafy exclaimed as he began bouncing up and down and all around in the hallway, of with characters were on the highest floor that held the residing rooms as Stafy boarded the platforms, broke the targets, and made several home runs on the various Sandbags present in the hallway for whatever reason.

"M-me too!" Pichu exclaimed as she began feeling electricity charging throughout her entire body, zipping through the hallway like a fire cracker as she screamed with joy, shocking everyone and everything that came close to her, causing several of the explosive items to explode, which in turn shook the entire mansion.

"My Koopa Klown Kar!" Bowser Jr. exclaimed as he noticed it exploding right in front of him, having forgotten to take it back into his room as he growled, flipping the bird at the blue colored electrical jolt zipping by, of which was actually Pichu. "Screw off, you ginger dingus!"

"I have no insurance!" Pichu exclaimed as she zipped by Dark Pit, stripping the dark angel boy of his clothes as his underwear was revealed, of which were panties containing pictures of Amy Rose on them.

"Nice undies, Dork Shit!" Wario teased as he and Waluigi laughed, both of them being across the room as Dark Pit growled, blushing in embarrassment as he covered his private spots.

"WHAT THE GODDAMN HELL OF A FUCKERY IS GOING ON IN HERE?" A red Pikmin angrily exclaimed while drunk as he took out Donkey Kong's Coconut Gun, firing it in spurts as he scared off all the other different colored Pikmin.

"My Coconut Gun!" Donkey Kong exclaimed as he was knocked away by Stafy.

"I dunno, ecks dee." A yellow Pikmin commented as she placed her small stubby plant hands on her face, giggling.

"El to the em to the ay to the oh!" A blue Pikmin shouted as he was doing various poses, with the red Pikmin punching him in the stomach with the Coconut Gun.

Arceus was trying to read a novel about the ocean as he heard the chaos going on, sighing as he closed his eyes to get a view of what was really happening. He sighed in annoyance, shaking his head. "Why am I in this story?"

"BECAUSE CAFFEINE, SON!" Stafy and Pichu exclaimed in unison as they collided with each other, causing the entire mansion to shake, which in turn caused shock waves that were felt across all of Big Blue as various F-ZERO vehicles went flying off the race course, two of them crashing into the mansion as Stafy and Pichu both groaned.

"You know what we need?" Stafy stated as he faced Pichu, seeing small copies of himself circling around his head.

"Lotsa sugar?" Pichu exclaimed as she got back up on her feet, moving her small hands around.

"YOU READ MY MIND!" Stafy exclaimed as he grabbed Pichu and dashed all the way down to the kitchen, to cause even more bullshit for the mansion.

And the best part? Master Hand and Crazy Hand weren't here to prevent this. Why? Because they went grocery shopping.


	2. Chapter 2

Master Hand murmured as he was in the cookie aisle of the grocery store he and Crazy Hand were in, with both of them being in Termina's Great Bay, the supermarket having been recently constructed as Crazy Hand approached Master Hand with a cart full of items.

"Yo bro, what's up?" Crazy Hand asked as he moved his fingertips about at a fast pace.

Master Hand sighed as he turned to Crazy Hand, floating slowly. "I have a feeling that the mansion is having a heart attack. As usual." He sighed in annoyance as he curled himself up. "Again."

And Master Hand couldn't be more right as Stafy and Pichu were in the kitchen of the Smash Mansion, getting more sugar to add to their sugar loaded caffeine as the two were searching in every wooden cabinet to grab as much sugar as possible.

"Come on! It's gotta be in here somewhere!" Stafy exclaimed as he knocked down the various kitchen utensils, shaking his head as he sighed in disappointment. "Where's the sugar in this place?"

Pichu pulled out a wooden crate as she stumbled back, nearly falling on her back as she groaned. "Ugh... I think I might have found where the sugar is stored in..." She then opened up the crate, only to get flour all over her, coughing as she popped her head out, glancing over to Stafy. "There's no sugar here! But a lot of not sugar!"

"That's flour, you idiot!" Stafy shouted as he shook his head 9n response, sighing in annoyance as he placed his right hand on his face. "How are we gonna get high on caffeine if you can't even get the right ingredients?"

Pichu twitched her ears, turning around to see various different Pikmin carrying the sugar into the outdoor garden inside the mansion, with Pichu following them to see exactly where they were going.

"Hey now! Wait a moment!" Stafy exclaimed as he spun after Pichu, bumping into her, which in turn caused both of them to tumble down on the Pikmin, causing them to drop the sugar. Stafy and Pichu tried to place the sugar back in, but they didn't have enough power to do it. "Ugh! Both of us are too small!"

"I got an idea!" Pichu remarked as she pulled out a container and scooped up the sugar, placing it into her tea as she did the same for a cup of coffee, handing it over to Stafy, who then took a sip as he began changing colors, bouncing all around the place as he screamed in joy, going off like a rocket. Pichu then realized that this was her cue as she drank up her cup, shaking violently as she squealed with joy, bouncing throughout the garden as she knocked several of the bushes down, causing one of the trees to catch on fire, with the Pikmin crouching in horror as they were quite horrified.

"I knew I should have never came here..." A purple female Pikmin muttered as she was hit by Pichu, being reduced into purple Pikmin goo, causing the other Pikmin to gasp in horror as the purple Pikmin's soul was sucked out, disappearing within a few seconds.


	3. Chapter 3

"I wonder what Luigi's boogers taste like. Ha ha, just curious," Stafy laughed as he and Pichu were on the lookout for more sugar, with both of them bumping into a small yellow Luma who was going through the mansion on its own accord.

"Oh, it looks like cheesecake!" Pichu exclaimed as she tried to munch on the Luma, who screamed as it flew away, with Pichu attempting to zap it, only to hurt herself. "Oww!"

"Peh! Leave it to me!" Stafy remarked as he spun around, knocking several Pikmin walking through the mansion into the Luma, knocking it down. Stafy groaned as he felt a bit dizzy, collapsing next to the Luma as he panted. "Phew...! I did it..."

"Thank you, Stafy!" Pichu exclaimed as she jumped onto the Luma, chewing down on it as her eyes widened, blinking as she pulled away, sticking her tongue out. "Eww! This doesn't taste like cheesecake at all!"

Suddenly a rogue purple colored Landmaster busted through the mansion, with Ridley driving it as he was listening to Gorillaz. Pichu screamed as she, Stafy, the Luma, and the Pikmin all got flattened by the Landmaster, of which continued to trek through the mansion, destroying various rooms as Pichu pulled herself back up, groaning as she felt somewhat sick.

"Ough... I don't feel so good..." Pichu hiccuped as she felt dizzy, stars twirling around her head.


	4. Chapter 4

"AHHHH!" Pichu and Stafy screamed as they were having a screaming contest, causing all the Pikmin within the cafeteria to go deaf as they were trying to get the noise out of their head.

"We still haven't found a way to settle this!" Pichu stated as she placed on an ugly dress, posing. "Black and blue fits me so well!"

"...Actually, it's gold and silver. You know, like the games you came from," Stafy remarked, spinning around.

"Bleh, who cares? This dress makes me wanna puke," Pichu stated as she then ate up the whole dress, burping as she and Stafy began dashing around the cafeteria again.

Several Smashers were present as they were at the wall to the east, watching food flying every and tables getting flipped as they glanced at each other.

"Unless something bad happens... Don't move." R.O.B. suggested as he moved his metal head.

Lucina's stomach growled, but she tried to remain as dignified as possible, with the others glancing at her. Shulk sneezed and Female Robin burped, causing the others to glance at them. But worse of all, Lady Palutena farted, her large tuba toot destroying the wall they were all hanging on as Pichu and Stafy spun into them, knocking them on their backs as the ceiling tiles began falling on them.

"...Something bad has happened!" Pac-Man shouted to R.O.B., with the Duck Hunt Duo laughing as they were enjoying this, those masochistic fucks.


End file.
